How Big is Your Life?

How big is the radius of your life? I mean it, think about that question. How far do you travel for work? For School? How far do you live from your parents and other family members? How far do you travel to go grocery or clothes shopping? How far are the other places that you go regularly? You got that mapped out in your head? Great! Now, how many people are involved in that life? How many people do you work with? Are these different from your friends? How about the people you go to Church with? Next question for you: What does the size of your life mean?

Back in the US, I was always working to give my life a bigger radius. When I stayed with my parents, my life wasn't very small. I went grocery shopping at the Walmart that was a 10 minute car ride from my house. The mall and movie theater were 45 minutes away in one direction, the place where I worked 45 minutes in another. My church happened to only be a minute or so drive from my parents' house, but the people who attend come from all over the area. But the town with my high school and favorite coffee shop and my friend's barn was a 20 minute drive away. And most my friends lived even farther. I went to college 3 hours away from my parents house and made my life there for 4 years. The daily life I had there had a physically smaller radius, I slept, studied, went to class, ate, hung out with my friends, and worked on campus. But I had ways of extending that radius. I took babysitting jobs off campus- one involved a 30 minute walk. I went to mall 20 minutes away. I took trains into Philadelphia. I rode horses at a barn 20 minutes away. I took summer jobs in different locations, one in Akron, PA another in Philadelphia, PA. In Akron, I walked around town, and took my car to a coffee shop in the next town over, and met up with friends 20 minutes away in Lancaster. In Philly, my job involved traveling all over the city and when I needed it I escaped to Swarthmore, to my college in the suburbs. I always wanted my life to involve more and new places. I tried to know people in a variety of places.

My life in Jordan is much smaller. I do most of my grocery shopping on the street next to the YWCA. I go to church a little farther up the street. School's farther away, 20 minutes by car, about 40 minutes if I'm walking and taking the bus. But, I do very little in between those two. I sometimes go to Church events at AES. Sometimes I go to University Street for coffee. When it feels too small, I run away to Amman, which is about an hour and a half away. But, all of this is augmented by the fact that I have family and friends that I keep in close contact with back in the US.

For me, the size of my life meant, and still means, that I didn't see my parents very often. Even when I was living with them there were days that we didn't see each other. Seeing my sisters was rarer. It meant that I spent a lot of time along commuting. It meant that I maintained friendships where I wouldn't see or sometimes ever speak to person in weeks, or months. Despite that, I always felt close to people.

In America, I always felt like I had a normal sized life. A lot of people commute to work and live far from their parents and go to school away from home. Sometimes, thinking about it makes my life in Jordan feel extremely small. But, in the Jordanian context my life is actually pretty big. Most Jordanians live with their parents until they get married. It's common for Jordanian young adults to tell their parents everywhere that they go. Often, young, unmarried women need their father or brother to drive them places. It's normal to shop in only a few stores, because customers are intensely loyal. Many of my students when asked about their dream vacation talk about going to Aqaba, which is about the same distance from Irbid as from my hometown to New York City. After spending my life in a culture that appreciates bigness, it's not always comfortable to step into one where smaller lives are common. It can feel like you're being watched and judged. But culturally, it means that people are much closer to their families. Decisions are made by the family. Friendships are made by the family. The people in your life are involved with everything. It means that people are more interdependent- as evidenced by the fact that people always assume that I'm lonely since I don't live with family.

So, I ask you again: How big is your life? And what does that size mean?

Four years and one very expensive piece of paper later...

 Sunday was the big day! After four years, lots of readings, numerous papers, and approximately 3 hours of sitting in the sun I received that very expensive piece of paper that marks me as a college graduate.

Taking pictures in the Rose Garden.

Graduation weekend was intense. Saturday my parents arrived, I watched as several of my super impressive friends were inducted into Phi Beta Kappa, and then wandered over to Baccalaureate. Baccalaureate was long and hot, and I wished it was a little more like a Quaker meeting. I'm going to miss spending my Sunday mornings sitting in silence and prayer. After Baccalaureate I dragged my parents to some department receptions to meet my professors- and may of gotten an ego boast from hearing all the nice things they said about me. Then we meet up with my sister and her boyfriend and went to dinner. We were supposed to go out with a group of my friends and their families but there was a mistake with our reservation, so that didn't quite work out as plan. When we returned to campus we watched a beautiful fireworks show before telling each other goodnight.

Getting my rose for Commencement.

The next morning I meet up with some of my friends in the Rose Garden to pick out a rose to wear for graduation (Swarthmore tradition), and then went to breakfast with them and my family. After that was the big event: Commencement! I highly enjoyed the speakers, especially the one who gave a shout out to Peace and Conflict Studies majors saying, "Peace and Conflict Studies majors would reason you into submission. More like, talk you to death." Waiting for everyone to receive their diplomas was tiring, we had to stand while all the students receiving BA degrees walked, though I loved that someone placed a giant cut out of Where's Waldo in the trees right before we walked across the stage it definitely made my smile more authentic. Afterwards, I took a great many pictures, packed up the rest of my room, and headed on home with my parents.

The family!

People keep asking me how it feels to be a college graduate, the only answer I've been able to give is weird, because I haven't felt like a college graduate. I haven't felt like one because I'm working Alumni Weekend, so I'm already back on campus, sleeping in a dorm room again. I think that when I leave after this weekend, I will feel more like a college graduate.

Almost Graduated.... Almost.

Longwood Garden

These past couple weeks have been really strange. About three weeks ago I finished my undergraduate classes, and two weeks ago I finished all my work. I've spent the last two weeks hanging out around Swarthmore doing very little. It's been a strange feeling not having anything to do. One of my friends actually went through some really intense feelings of guilt over it... Swarthmore may have made us all workaholics who can't handle ourselves without work. I do not think I have quite grasped the idea that I will not have piles upon piles of homework to do everyday anymore, well at least until I go to grad school and that's at the very least a year away!

Fancy Dinner

This past week has been crazy. It's Senior Week here at Swarthmore. Basically, the college is trying to make up for running us ragged the past four years by giving us fun things to do and lots of food. Some of my favorite events this week included going to Longwood Gardens, the Phillies vs. Red Sox game (Phillies won!), fancy dinner, and Last Collection. Collections are a Swarthmore tradition, well really a Quaker College tradition, where the community comes together and listens to each other. During Orientation, all the freshmen attend First Collection which ends with a candle lighting ceremony and inducts you into the Swarthmore community. Last Collection also ends with a candle lighting ceremony, but it sends you out into the world. Our homework assignment was simple: go change the world, make it a better place-- well, maybe not so simple, but I think SALT is a good step in the right direction.

Phillies vs. Red Sox

My family is coming up to Swarthmore today! Today is Baccalaureate and department receptions. Tomorrow is the big day: Commencement. After tomorrow I will no longer be a college student, and I will officially be a college graduate! EEK!

Last Collection

In Fundraising news- since I know you are all dying to hear about it- the total donates on my MCC page has passed $2,000! According to Dad's calculations that combined with the donates from my home church, we've reached over $3,000, that's about 60% of my total goal. Thank you so much to everyone who has donated. If you haven't PLEASE donate

Guess Who's Going to JORDAN!

Swarthmore Senior Portrait
Class of 2013

Ever since I can remember, I've known that I want, and feel called to, two things in my career: to travel and to help others. It's looks like I am on the right path to such a career. Almost two weeks ago I accepted an assignment for my first post-college job: I will be working as a Teacher Assistant at the Arab Episcopal School, in Irbid, Jordan, through Mennonite Central Committee's (MCC) Serving and Learning Together (SALT) program.

For the past year or so I have been researching organizations with whom I could potentially work for or serve with after I graduate from Swarthmore College this June (less than a month?? say what??). I'm a Peace and Conflict Studies major so the top two suggestions I've gotten over the year were the United Nations (UN),  and the Peace Corps. I decided early on that I want to spend some time doing on-the-ground service work, which took out the option of going directly to the UN or similar projects. And by the time I actually had enough time to work on job applications, I had missed all the deadlines for the Peace Corps if I wanted to leave soon after graduation. So, I spent the year researching humanitarian aid organizations and service programs.

Anti-Racism Audit Team, MC USA 2011 Pittsburgh Convention
Photo by Everett J. Thomas.

I decided on SALT partially because of my high opinion of MCC as an organization. In the summer of 2011, I interned in their Peace and Justice, US, Office with the Peace Education, Women's advocacy, and Anti-Racism Programs. That summer was amazing and transformative. MCC is one of the oldest humanitarian aid and peace advocacy organizations in the country, and the work that they have done and continue to do around the world is incredible. Looking at the amount of work MCC does, it is easily apparent that SALT is not the only work they do, which sets them apart from other young adult one year service programs. I am looking forward to the opportunity to be part of and contribute to MCC's work.

The moment I opened the email offering me the position in Jordan, I was so excited that I started crying. I called my mom and could barely form the words to tell her "I'm going to Jordan!" My crying was bad enough that even though I immediately knew I was going to accept I had to walk away and calm myself down before I could even write my acceptance email. I am still overjoyed with my plans for the next year, but I am also realistic. I know that life in Jordan is going to be different from anything I've experienced before, even though I've traveled abroad before. I mean almost as soon as I told Mom about it we started discussing the new wardrobe I'm going to need (I'll need trousers, long skirts, high cut blouses, and sweaters for both work and for when I have free time). I have never been to a country where are Christians are a minority. I don't speak Arabic. Moving to Jordan is going to be one of the most exciting and fear inducing things I have ever done.

Derry/Londonderry, Northern Ireland
Study Abroad, Fall 2011

I am glad that when I am a SALTer, I will not just be serving somewhere on my own but I will be part of a supportive, world wide community. There are not only young adults serving with SALT and MCC's other young adult programs (IVEP and YAMEN) internationally, but there are also MCC offices throughout the world. This means that while I am working in Jordan, I will have the support of both my co-workers at the Arab Episcopal School and the staff at the MCC Jordan office. This support, and the prayers and encouragement of my friends and family back in the States, are what I am counting on to help me through my transition to life in Jordan.